Countdown to 2011...Day Twenty

Yeah. So three days after my last post I got sick again. Laryngitis this time. Another round of the evil antibiotics and another week of exercise lost. I'm trying not to feel down and overwhelmed by it all, but I'm frustrated, for sure. I was doing so well the first week of December, then I've been sick the entire time since then. What's with that?!

I feel like I've been either sick, getting well, or coming down with something for the last 10 weeks! Ever since that case of strep in the beginning of October, really. *sigh* This isn't like me...I've worked so hard to build a strong immune system and now I seem to have crashed.

I'm frustrated. Definitely frustrated. Because my position can't be filled by a temp (yay for small business!) I didn't take any time off. I think that has definitely made my recovery longer and slower. Going back to exercise too soon has made me relapse and/or catch something else right away the couple of times I've been sick, so I'm taking two more days before starting back.

I've not decided yet exactly how I'm going to finish c25k in order to start the 8k program. This week is TOM, so it's not an awesome time to be starting back on exercise and running, but I'm determined. I'm just so tired of being tired! And sick of being sick, too! BAH!!

Here's hoping the rest of 2010 doesn't suck quite so hard.

Countdown to 2011...Day Nine

*blush* I'm not being a very good blogger right now. My reasons are good--getting tons done on my primary novel--but I also know that writing about my weight loss efforts has been key to my success in the past. Blog, I must!


I had so much catching up to do on Saturday that I literally forgot all about running until the sun was setting...I was so frustrated, but I guess I needed another day to rest. Don't want to do too much too fast when getting well, right?

What about that weigh-in though, eh?! 3.8lbs is not too shabby!! Ah, that feels good. I know some of it might come back now that I'm exercising again (water in the muscles, blah blah blah), but for now I'm loving seeing that number go down. I'm so close to being in the '40s!!

I finally went for that W8D1 run today. I really didn't want to go. At all. I talked to Bestie for a few minutes, and she was very encouraging. So I went, but I didn't want to. For one thing, it was 40 degrees, which is COLD to this Florida girl. For another, I hadn't run in a week and a half...and therefore had zero idea what to expect out of my body. Well...28 minutes DONE, and I wasn't even close to death!! Oh, man...what a rush! I did a full on Rocky double fist pump at the final chimes on my podcast. No, I'm not kidding. *double fist pump*

I am starting to feel like an actual runner now. Awesome, right? And even though I'm not a SUPER competitive person, I kind of like knowing that neither my represented-the-USA-in-junior-nationals-basketball-and-played-for-Auburn dad, nor my danced-and-cheered-through-high-school-and-college mom, nor my wants-to-be-a-real-life-super-soldier-like-Captain-America little brother, nor my pretty-much-lives-for-video-games littlest brother can run for 28 minutes without dying, but I FREAKING CAN. Yeah, it's in the plus column for sure. My college-baseball-star-turned-medical-student big brother can probably still run for that long, but he's a freak of nature and shouldn't count anyway. :D

So it's a little after 10pm now, and I'm sooooo sleepy. *yawn* Today was good. Important things happened, like my run. However, I know starting tomorrow, I'm probably going to feel hungrier than usual, so I need to be on my toes and NOT SKIP MY SUPPLEMENTS. Right.


Bonus: I've worn my new two-sizes-smaller jeans every day this week and felt AWESOME!!!!! Yay for smaller clothes!!

Countdown to 2011...Day Five

Sooo, yeah. It took me the rest of this work week to get over that stupid cold. I'm still a little congested tonight, but everything else is back to normal.

I missed a whole week of running. I'm not sure what to do yet. I think I'll go for a run tomorrow and see how I feel. If I can go 28 minutes with gas in the tank, I might move on. Then again, I might just combine weeks 8 and 9 to get back on track. I'll have more information about how my body is doing after tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow...it's WEIGH IN day!! I'm feeling pretty good about what Mr. Scale will say tomorrow. True story. Even though I didn't get any workouts in after Monday...I did sooooo very well with my eating, in spite of being sick! Go, me! True, my protein levels dipped a couple days, but tomato soup isn't supremely high in protein...:D


Tomorrow is an important day; I best get a good night's sleep. Can't wait!!

Countdown to 2011...Day Two

Yesterday went rather well, I think. I drank my water, worked out, ate on plan, and didn't even suffer in the process! :D Only catch? I was started to get sick, and I knew it. I couldn't stop sneezing and my sinuses were doing that nasty postnasal drip thingy that I hate so much. In hopes of staving off whatever was threatening, I implemented my usual immuno-boosting emergency plan: I used my neti pot, took therapeutic levels of vitamin C, drank that NASTY Wellness Formula stuff that usually helps, and gargled with salt water. 

This morning I woke up miserably sick and took my first afternoon off in two years. Amazing. Looks like I caught the virus Little Brother was down with last week...while he was staying with me over the holiday. Brilliant. My whole face hurts, I'm terribly congested, and I'm running a decent temperature. Grand. At least I'm not sneezing anymore, right? Right.

 So here I am, sitting at home working on the computer, drinking tea and eating tomato soup, and all I can think about is how much I DONT want to skip my run. Blah. If I weren't running fever, I would still go, I think, but the fever thing combined with strenuous exercise scares me. :(

No run today!! AGH!! I sincerely hope my fever breaks before tomorrow so that I can go back to work AND make up my missed run in the morning. Humbug. Upside, I'm not struggling at all to keep my calories reasonable on this completely sedentary day. Silver linings...

Countdown to 2011...Day One

Gotta make this snappy, as I'm already behind on my work this morning (Mondays SUCK).


In looking back over the past month, the one thing that really sticks out to me is the food thing. Reading my entries from the first week, I can see that I did really well for about six days before falling off a cliff. I binged for the first time since June. Yikes. What made that difference? I'm not entirely sure, but I think it might have to do with counting calories. BAH! I hate that something that realllllly helps in losing weight triggers a behavior that interferes with that same goal! BAH, again. I need to be more aware from here on out.


In terms of exercise, I did pretty well. Even with all the craziness related to my family and the holiday festivities, I managed to keep up with my running. But that's it. Three runs a week. Not NEARLY enough exercise for this old bird, no siree. ESPECIALLY when I'm eating whatever is convenient and semi-tasty. Definitely room for improvement here, as well.


So while ONE POUND lost is not much, when I look back over my choices, I feel pretty fortunate to have moved in the right direction at all. As for those CRAZY inches lost, well, Jesus loves me. :D


My plan for this upcoming month-and-change is to end this year in style:


*Finish the C25K program and begin the Gateway to 8k routine
*Go to bed by 10pm every night, no matter what
*Add digestive enzymes and Cal/Mag to my supplements
*Continue keeping protein levels high
*Add a brief yoga routine following my regular runs
*Implement that weight training program that I DIDN'T do last month
*Complete the Two Hundred Sit-Ups challenge
*Weigh once a week instead of once a month
*Drink copious amounts of water and herbal tea

Onward and Downward!!

Day 28 of 28

Judgment Day.


Weight lost: 1 pound. ONE. Don't even get me started.


Inches lost:

Neck: -0.25"
Bust: -1.5"
Upper Arms: -1.25" EACH!!!
Waist: -1.5" BOOOYAAAAH!!!
Hips: -1"
Thighs: -0.5" each
Calves: -0.5" each

Total: 8.75"


So, I don't really understand how ONE POUND lost can translate into almost NINE INCHES off my body, but I'll take it.

I honestly want the scale to move. I admit this wholeheartedly. However, I bought jeans two sizes smaller than the last pair I purchased at the end of summer. TWO SIZES!! That's a NSV I can really enjoy! :D So...I don't know. I know I could have done much better with food this month. I was definitely on autopilot for nearly 3/4 of the month...there, I said it. The changes in my body are probably largely due to increased protein combined with continued running. It wouldn't be fair for me to rage against my body at this point, since I KNOW how I ate, and it wasn't in a very controlled manner. My choices, my responsibility, and the numbers show it.

Theoretically, my body SHOULD be primed for dropping pounds now, after a month of muscle building and plenteous calories, as my metabolism should be running high. Right? Right...

Day 23 of 28

Well...it's been a while, yeah? Don't worry, just because I've fallen off the blogging wagon doesn't mean everything has gone to rot. Not EVERYTHING, hehe.

So, yep. It's been an interesting couple of weeks. I've kept up with my C25K routine, which I'm really very proud of. I ran for 25 min straight this morning AND had gas left in the tank! I'm so freaking excited!! I can't wait to finish C25K and move on the the 8k training. Woohoo!


Also, the urge to weigh in every day has waned significantly. Thank goodness, right? Right. Part of that waning might be due to the knowledge that I've not been completely following my own food plan. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been eating good food and largely sticking to the high protein, high fiber foods I had planned on consuming, but with all the craziness with family DRAMA, I've not been eating at home as much as I had expected, and that makes things a bit more challenging. All in all, I'm pleased with how I've handled this month so far, even while realizing that my loss will not be what it would have been had things turned out differently food-wise.

One major bonus related to not weighing in is I've been paying much closer attention to my body and the changes that are taking place. For instance, my legs are looking really different, especially around my knees. I have new dips and straight places around my knees that I've not seen, like...ever. The muscles in my calves are pretty freaking sweet, too. My forearms look smaller, and I've noticed changes in the upper part of my stomach, right under where my bra sits. I have a dip there now and it just seems more..receded? lol. And all of the fat on my stomach is softer--kind of looser, I guess--which is usually a sign that my body composition is changing. Yay!


I'm nervous about my weigh in this weekend, but I'm trying to throw that emotional energy into my workouts every day until then. EEK!!


 Whew.

Day 9 of 28

I binged last night...for the first time in almost six months. I just don't get my psychological issues sometimes. I know a lot of it is emotional, but I've not even THOUGHT about bingeing since I went vegan. I think it might have been a combination of all the emotions flying around my family this weekend and the fact that I'm counting calories for this month. I don't usually do well with the whole counting thing. Makes me go extreme one way or the other. Oh, well. Today is a new day.


Update: drank tea all morning because I just couldn't eat with all that food still in my system, then went for my run on my lunch break. Felt sluggish, but made it through. :) Week Six, baby!!

Food was much better today. I still ate "off plan" some at supper, as my calories were way low for the day due to my tea morning, but I made good choices.

I am NOT going to allow a couple of rough days to define me. I am stronger and more determined than that! My goal for now is to finish this week strong and gain some momentum going into the weekend. I don't think I'll take a high-cal day again...I'm thinking that might have been part of what set me off last weekend. Live, learn, adapt, yeah? :)

Day 8 of 28

*sigh*
Total food hangover this morning. Sluggish mentally and physically and emotionally. Feeling out of touch with my body.

Worked out for an hour, but my heart wasn't in it. *sigh*

Day 7 of 28

25% finished and 100% frustrated. Today was horrible, and all because of my own stupid "choices." See, a whole BOATLOAD of family drama went down today, so my eating schedule was completely disrupted, and I found myself at various people's houses far away from my pre-made meals or protein shakes.

And honestly, if I had paid attention to how I was feeling about everything, I think I would have been fine. Instead, I was entirely focused on everyone else and pretty much just ate whatever was available at mealtimes, regardless of what it was (as long as it didn't contain meat, obviously).

So, my stomach hurts. BAD. And I'm angry/frustrated/depressed. Why does food EVER win? It should never win...*sigh*

Day 6 of 28

Am I there, yet?! I RREEEEAAAALLLLY wanted to check the scale this morning. Saturday mornings have been my weekly weigh-in day since junior high...even though I usually checked every day, only Saturday's number counted. I wanted to peek so much! I just KNOW all this protein and running is already making a difference. I swear I can feel it. I even think I can see it a little bit. *sigh* Three more weeks.


I FREAKING DID IT!!! I FINISHED THE ENTIRE 20 MINUTE RUN!!! AAAAAHHHH!!!! I am so very very VERY proud of myself for finishing that run. My legs and my lungs felt strong even at the very end. However--it took just about every ounce of mental strength I had to keep going today because of some unexpected pain.

In Thursday's run, I felt a hint of what I can only describe as menstrual cramping (and I am just past midway, fyi) toward the end of both my 8min intervals. I honestly forgot all about that discomfort until about 8min into my run today when the cramping returned. It continued and increased in severity throughout the rest of my run, making it impossible for me to really find my groove and zone out. I was determined to finish, and I did, but it was really hard. The pain continued until the very end of my cool down walk.

As soon as I got inside, I went online and did some research. As it turns out, this kind of pain is fairly common for women, especially in the two weeks between ovulation and menstruation. Weird, huh? According to gynecologists, changes in fluid retention and/or normal swelling caused by hormone shifts are the primary culprits. Sometimes the discomfort can be traced to a tipped uterus, sometimes not, but in no cases could I find causes that would mean I should be concerned. Whew! I'm glad to know, but at my next exam I'm definitely going to bring it up.


Other than that bit of drama, today was a good day! Saturdays are my high cal days for the week (did I mention that before? I don't think I did...ooops!), so I enjoyed some vegan pizza. :D Not very high protein, but I managed to meet my minimum levels anyway.

Tomorrow marks 25% completion!! Woo hoo!! I'm excited to try some new recipes this week, as things got just a TOUCH tedious around Thursday, hehe. Oh, well!

Day 5 of 28

Well....hmmm. Today was interesting. And by interesting I mean frustrating. :D

I didn't have to work this morning, so I slept in a little before having lunch with Mum. I had a bad headache again this morning, complete with severe nausea, so I skipped my workout again. That's TWICE this week! If I had health insurance, I definitely would see a doctor about these headaches. I hesitate to label them as migraines, since I haven't been diagnosed with such, but I do have a Mum who has always gotten migraines (diagnosed and treated with a prescription) at the same time in her menstrual cycle that I get them. I'm sure it's the same thing, so I need to find something that works for the pain, because I can't keep missing workouts! It's not fair!

In terms of food, things were off today. Eating out at the Chinese buffet went fine; I ate only what I had planned for and calculated calories for earlier in the day. That said, food from restaurants must have something added to it that makes it act differently in your body, because I was craving sugar SOOOOO badly all afternoon. I never crave sugar like that. I wanted to eat a TRUCKLOAD of candy bars...and I can't even remember the last time I ate a candy bar. It was pure silliness, and of course I didn't eat anything off plan, but still! Not fun to spend an afternoon at work with a bad headache and visions of sugary evil dancing in your head! ;D


All in all, today was difficult, and I'm really looking forward to my weekend. I need to get back into my eating routine and take care of my body a little bit. I've gotten lots of sleep this week, but it'll be good to slow down enough to nurture myself some. Also, tomorrow is my 20min run and I am so very extremely horrible crazily mind-numbingly nervous about it!!! AGH!!

Can I do it?

Day 4 of 28

AGH!!! Not weighing myself is making me NUTSO!! I had no idea how hooked I was on seeing a number every day to "gauge my progress." Seriously...It's been less than a week, and I'm already going straight up bonkers.


Okay, about today's events. Ummm...I finished w5d2!! I felt really strong through both 8min running intervals. I'm not ready to say I'm CONFIDENT about Saturday's 20min run, but I'm determined to give it my best. :D Only a couple more days, and I'll know for sure whether I'm up to the task or not.


In terms of food, today was my first attempt at eating out while on this different eating pattern/plan. Everything went very smoothly, and while my supper wasn't as high in protein as I would have liked, I stayed at the 300cal mark...no small feat when dining at a restaurant, no? I'm pretty proud of myself. Now to do it again when out to lunch with Mum tomorrow... at a Chinese buffet!! Hmmmm... :)


On to Day 5!!

Day 3 of 28

Boy! Today was tough.


I woke up this morning with a migraine. I hate it when that happens, because most medicine for migraines leaves me groggy and slightly disoriented, hehe. A big no-no for heading off to work OR a workout involving lifting heavy weights over my head. Yeah. So I took some milder medicine and crawled back under my covers, planning to give the drugs a few minutes to kick in before heading out for my workout and then getting ready for work.

Yeah, that didn't happen.

 I fell asleep. Like, super duper asleep. I woke up with barely enough time to scrape myself together and get to work. Great.

I already had plans in place for this evening, so I couldn't make up my workout, which is disappointing to say the least. I did, however, cut my post-workout shake (since I didn't workout, bah!), so in terms of calories I should be fine.

The headache has returned with a vengeance this evening, so I'm off to take my stronger medicine, soak in a warm bubble bath, and call it an early night. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, but I can't count on it: IT's THURSDAY!! EEK!!

:D

Day 2 of 28

Whew! I made it!

My schedule was a bit unusual this morning, what with going out to vote and all, but I managed to get in all 5 of my mini-meals anyway! :)

I complete W5D2 of c25k and it felt EASY. I can't believe it, really, but it's truuuueee!! :) I'm dreading D3 less and less...I'm actually very close to looking forward to that crazy 20 minute run! I think I'm going crazier...

In other news, my water intake wasn't quite as high as I would like, especially with so much more protein and fiber in my diet, so I'll be looking to improve that for tomorrow.

I'm feeling pretty good so far this week. Not weighing in is TOUGH, though. I'm enjoying not feeling hungry all the time, for sure! This afternoon as work my tummy sent me a rather dramatic signal for food (ROAWR!!!), and when I glanced at the clock I realized it was time to eat again, hehe. Instant gratification is niiiiiiice.

I tried a couple new recipes for my protein shakes today and liked both of them very well. Whew! Yesterday's protein shake debacles had me worried that I was in for an entire month of liquid misery, but adding ice has pretty much eliminated the "grit" issue I was having, and I now know that adding frozen blackberries to a smoothie results in a landslide of seeds that makes finishing a shake next to impossible. Yeah, no more blackberries, thanks.

Also, I continue to see positive changes in my legs. VERY exciting, obviously, but I'd reeeeaaallly like to see some changes in my middle, thanks.

Day 1 of 28

*yawn* I'm fading fast tonight, so this entry will be a brief one.

Today went well, all things considered. I managed to eat 5 small meals, each one roughly 300 calories. I'm not wild about the protein shake recipes I used today, but I've got a few ideas for improvements starting tomorrow. Worst case scenario, I can deal with a little pea grit. Did I mention my protein-increasing plan involves protein shakes made from pea powder? Yellow split peas, to be precise. True story.

I tried a new workout today, too. I turned my normal heavy bag routine into a circuit training workout by adding weight lifting sets in between boxing rounds. It was pretty intense, but the time went by super fast. I'm prepared to experience some muscle soreness tomorrow and will NOT let it put me off my run. :)


Eating this way, especially with such frequency, takes time and preparation that will require some getting used to, not to mention all the protein and fiber I'm now taking in.

Also, not checking the scale every morning is ALREADY a challenge! My hope is that after a few days of not weighing in, I will get used to the new routine and stop worrying about the number so much. Hope.


Well, it's off to bed with me: sleep is knocking at my eyelids.

Times Are Changin'

October:


- had strep throat twice
- rough menstrual cycle (late)
- accidentally decreased thyroid hormone dose (ooops!)
- completed weeks 1-4 of the c25k program
- worked the heavy bag 2-3x a week
- ate between 1300 and 1700 calories per day (with the exception of few untracked days when I was sick...not sure about my intake during those times.)
- protein intake extremely low every day (non-soy vegan with reduced cals is TOUGH on protein)
-  no weight training
- ZERO pounds lost



November:


I'm ready to put the month of October behind me. What a frustrating few weeks I've had! It's time to move past the difficulties and focus on the positives. I definitely did a lot of great things for my body this month and I refuse to take that away from myself just because the scale isn't moving. My health and wellness are about so much more than any single number. That said, I really REALLY hope some of these changes I'm implementing for the month of November result in a loss. A girl can dream, right? :)

- increase protein to levels recommended for very active lifestyles
- eat small meals every 3 hours (roughly 1500 cals)
- maintain proper hormone doses EVERY DAY
- increase water again
- add weight training 2-3 days a week
- finish weeks 5-8 of c25k (woo hoo!!!)
- HIDE THE SCALE!! And no peeking, either. :D

Week #7: a Review

The Good: I didn't get sick this week!!! I'm still catching up on some things around the house and work that fell by the way side while I was down and out, but I'm definitely feeling more like myself. I also finished Week 4 of the c25k program this week!! BOOYAH!! In six days I will be attempting a 20 minute run. Lord have mercy! I completed 5 out of 6 possible workouts this week and I'm pleased with that. Things were crazy.


The Bad: Hungry. Like, every day...makes me cranky. Also, I gained weight. REALLY?! Now, listen...I realize that I'm hypothyroid, okay? And I realize that even with treatment, my body likes to release fat about as much as my 16 year-old cat likes a cold bath, but seriously...I'm working my butt off and it's still clinging on!! UGH.


I'm decidedly frustrated, but far from despairing...I've been in this place before. I know my body and I simply haven't found the balance that I need to be able to lose weight yet. That said, I need to get my hormone levels checked soon, just to be sure I'm not shooting myself in the foot on that score.

Note the ZERO LOSS for the month of October. Yeah, that sucks. But November, my dear friends, will be better.

Wacky Wednesday!

Come by the Hills...

Okay, so maybe I've mentioned this fact once before...I can't remember and don't feel like reading back through 20-odd posts to find out so bear with me, but the road behind my house where I go running has HILLS. It's a paved road, which is find, but like most back country roads around here it is full of twists and turns and those darn hills.

Said hills didn't bother me too much in the first few weeks of c25k, but OH MAN do I feel them now!! Especially when my jogging intervals seem to always fall on the uphill portions of my route (which isn't too difficult, because the road always seems to be going up or down), I feel like I'm going to DIE. It's insane. I've decided I would be ten times faster if the road were flat, but I know that's also a total lie because I'm super slow on the downhill parts too, hehe.

So I was kinda nervous about starting week 4 today, but it had more to do with DREADING w5d3, which contains a twenty minute run. TWENTY MINUTES. With no walking breaks!! And I'm terrified. W4 was my quitting point last time around, so there's the added pressure of w5 being unchartered territory. Now to be perfectly fair, I used to jog/run around a lake by my campus in college and did just fine. It was almost 5k and took me FOREVER, but I did it regularly. Granted, I was probably 40lbs lighter at the time...yeah, that doesn't help me feel better.

Anyway, back to dreading today: it really wasn't so bad! Yes, the hills were brutal during the 5min jogging intervals. Yes, I wanted to give up several times. And yes, it took a lot of mental focus to finish strong. BUT I DID IT. So I'm proud of myself.

One thing I do remember about my college days and running around that blasted lake was getting into the "zone" after the first few minutes. Initially, I hated life out there, but I remember always feeling like I found my groove by the time I passed this one tree stump. If I made it to that stump, I was golden for the rest of my run. My intervals are still pretty short, but I've gotten glimpses of that zone and I need to hold on to that feeling.

I need to remember that once I'm running longer distances, it really does get easier mentally...instead of reminding myself to keep going, I'll have to remind myself when to stop. And getting back to that place...that running zone...is as important a goal as any.

NOMNOMs: Know Thine Enemy

Beware!! The NOMNOMs know where you live and their army numbers in the trillions. They will come to you in dreams and sing their siren call from your pantry or fridge. They strike when you are vulnerable, tired, or sad. THEY WILL NOT STOP!! Be prepared, remain vigilant, and tune in next week to learn our first form of defense. Hint: it doubles as an offense.

WATCH OUT!!

Week #6: A Review

The Good: Hmmm....well, I ate well this week. I kept track of things more closely than I usually do, just to be sure that I'm not eating more than I should. Quite the contrary, actually: I'm struggling to keep my calories high enough, especially on the days where I work out intensely. I slept well most nights. I finished c25k W3!! I almost died, but I made it!  Oh, and the scale moved DOWN 1.6lbs, woo hoo!


The Bad: I got sick. Again. Strep sucks majorly. *sigh* I missed my workouts on both Thursday and Friday due to fever and the fact that my tonsils were touching. Yuck. My eating on Friday was kinda crazy.  I didn't drink enough water this week...gotta up my ounces.

Overall, my biggest struggle right now is mental. I don't feel very sharp or "on top of my game" today, or really this weekend in general. I hope that getting back into my routines tomorrow (AND going a whole week without some kind of physical disaster, hehe) will help me get my groove back. :)

The Mental Struggle

If I'm perfectly honest, these last three weeks have been extremely difficult, physically and emotionally. The first week, Bestie was here, and I caught strep throat. By the time I was starting to feel better on the antibiotic, TOM arrived. Then, just as TOM was waving a final goodbye, I relapsed with strep earlier this week. I'm back on antibiotics and feeling better, but my body is worn out.

The great challenge has been trying to stay strong and balanced mentally through it all, and even though my spirit is a bit dampened, I'm determined to remain focused. It would be very easy to concentrate instead on how I feel like I've been treading molasses (way more difficult than water!) for the last month or how much further along I had hoped to be by this point. It is so tempting to give in to the idea that it will always be this difficult and that I will never lose weight efficiently or consistently. Discouragement is knocking on my doors, windows, and even a wall or two.

The frustrations of the last few weeks are many, but this month has not been a typical one, and I MUST remind myself of that at every turn. I hadn't had strep in ten years! The odds of this kind of back-to-back-to-back physical struggle are crazy, and it likely won't happen again in this journey! If it should happen again, however, at least now I know that I can handle it, right? Right.

Fact is, I have a lot to be proud of from these last few weeks. The biggest thing? I never "fell off the wagon." Oh, my eating was different depending on what I could get past my swollen throat, and I missed a few workouts due to fever, but I kept things balanced for the most part, and I jumped right back into exercise as soon as my symptoms were under control. I am so proud of myself for that!! Go me!!

I don't really know what the scale will say when I weigh in tomorrow. I'm hopeful for a modest loss, but I also know what this week has been like. At the same time, I can see changes in my body, especially my legs. I tend to have pretty lean legs anyway (being so tall and all), but running really does AMAZING things for my thighs and calves! :D I may never have super sexy sculpted arms--although I WILL do everything I know to get them--but great legs are definitely achievable for me.

Mwahahaha! Okay, I'm off to finish W3 of c25k. :D

Wacky Wednesday!

I dare you not to laugh! Also, strep is back due to re-exposure at work. Joy! I'm back on antibiotics and don't plan to miss any workouts if I can help it.

Cool Runnings

Or burning hot desert runnings, whatever. Southern Mississippi seems to have missed the "late October counts as Fall" memo: it's upper 80s again today. Bah!

Remember when I mentioned being eager to start back with C25K? Yeah, I'm certifiable, pretty sure. *sigh* I chose to repeat W2 last week because of missing time due to strep throat. No problem.

I finished W3D1 this morning, but almost died in the process. I somehow missed one of my cues (I use DJ Steveboy's Podrunner: Intervals  podcasts. They ROCK.) and accidentally ran through the entire cool down. Whew, boy. I was so determined not to wimp out on any of my intervals today, but couldn't figure out why I was struggling so much with the final jogging segment. I knew they were supposed to be alternating 3min and 90sec intervals today. Um, yeah. That was your 4min10sec cool down, smart girl.

Upside: Thursday's run should feel SO EASY after today! Haha.

Similar to how I feel after a good heavy bag workout, my post-run (and even mid-run) perspective is amazing. As I was cresting my second hill today, I found myself pondering why running is so important to me. It goes much deeper than just wanting to look like someone who runs: I want to be someone who runs.
Does that distinction make sense?
Every time I go running (or very, VERY slow jogging, ha), I feel like I'm literally running away from who I used to be and toward the person I want to become. Each time I dig deep and finish a tough interval, exercising mind-over-body control, I feel stronger. Pushing my body physically has a powerful impact on my mind and emotions...and I LIKE it. :)

I may still look far from disciplined, powerful, and strong on the outside, but as I grow more and more like that on the inside, my body cannot help but follow. Right? RIGHT!? *wink*

Happy Tuesday, all. :)

NOMNOM Mondays

I'd like to introduce to you a little foe of mine. His name is NOMNOM and he has literally millions of nasty friends who love to attack me at completely random times and make me think I need to eat something. Bestie and I have established a plan of defense against the NOMNOM army, but the first step is recognition.

More to come...

Week #5: A Review

I just realized that I failed to write a review for Week #4. Oh, well. 'Twas a terrible one. :D This week was an improvement, thankfully.

The Good: As soon as I felt like my body was strong enough to withstand it, I jumped right back into running and boxing. I didn't delay for a few days out of laziness like I might have before. In fact, I put in my best week of workouts so far, clocking in SIX hour-long sessions this week. YAY!! *high five, self!*

I went to bed early every night this week, and definitely felt the difference during the day. I have waaaaay more energy for my workouts when I get enough sleep. Go figure, huh? Major duh.

I earned my weekly flowers this week (woot!), and decided to splurge on a dozen blush roses. They are absolutely breath-taking, and I smile every time I walk by them.

I also took really good care of myself physically this week. I took time to read and work on my novel and non-fiction manuscripts, I indulged in several bubble baths in the evenings after work, and I didn't miss a single hockey game! I find that I feel much more balanced and healthy when I make it a point to nurture my soul instead of just pushing through my days on sheer willpower. It's all about finding balance. :)


The Bad: Okay, so the food piece wasn't particularly disciplined again this week. I ate good things, just more frequently and in larger amounts than my body really requires. When I don't hit the sweet spot with my caloric intake, I find my energy levels start to lag and I feel sluggish. I definitely want to be more aware of how and when I eat during this upcoming week; with strep and TOM safely out of the way, I should have a much easier go of it, to be sure.


All in all, I pleased about my work this week and am definitely looking forward to another strong week. I'm itching for a solid loss on the scale, too. I feel like my hormones and water levels have been so out-of-whack for almost three weeks now...I'm ready for things to return to normal, thanks. :)

Ode to the Heavy Bag

My heart is full of loving passion now, 
Your leather sides and swinging chain sing sweet. 
As sweat runs down my face, I hit you, "POW!" 
My glove-clad hands take turns with kicking feet,
And the rhythm of blows is heard a mile.
I grunt, I yell, I punch and spin and turn.
With each and ever round, stronger feelings grow--
I finally begin to see and smile:
My strength, respect, and honor, inner burn...
I can no longer at all deny. I glow.




As I stood on the back porch yesterday, fresh from my post-workout stretching session, I gazed across the expanse of yard as a warm breeze caressed my face and felt truly FIERCE. I had spent the last 45 minutes doing my best impression of Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby: dodging, turning, throwing punch combos, I methodically destroyed my black leather opponent.

I started working out with a heavy bag back in the spring and was seriously hooked from the very first day. Now, every time I begin to wrap my hands in the long strips of cream-colored cotton before putting on my gloves, I turn into a different person. I become a stronger, braver, steadier version of myself. With my handy-dandy water bottle, HRM, and iPod, I stride confidently out to the "barn," our glorified shed with an attached open-air dog pen with a slanting tin roof and open wood beams, one of which sports my 100lb heavy bag.

Stepping into the deep shade, I kick up small clouds of brown dirt. Here and there bamboo shoots are fighting their way up through the earthen floor, reaching for the warmth of the sun. I slide my gloves on over the hand wraps and fasten the velcro straps firmly around my wrists. After checking myself out in the reflection of the glass windows in the side of the shed, I walk slowly around the bag, tapping it lightly. I look ready. I feel ready. Let's rumble.

I've read a few books on technique, so I usually start my workout with various drills aimed at improving my coordination, foot movement, and hand speed. After that, I move into timed repetitions of individual punches, kicks, and combinations. Finally, the last 10 minutes of my workout are comprised of an all-out assault on the bag, full on free-style. Those final few minutes are the highlight of my day and are largely responsible for the mental high I ride for hours after my workout and subsequent cool down are over.

My workout yesterday was a mental and physical victory. My body did not want to move at ALL, much less perform an hour-long boxing session! I knew it would help with my physical discomfort, however, and pushed through. I'm really glad I did for a variety of reasons.

First, the exercise really did help my body feel better, and the cramps diminished noticeably.

Second, I burned some serious calories, which gave me some much-needed wiggle-room in my eating for the day.

Third, and most importantly, I took one step closer to becoming the woman I want to be. Standing on the porch after my workout, I felt a stillness in my mind and spirit that I want to learn to hold onto.

One day, I hope the person I am when I strap on those gloves--strong, confident, and brave--will be the person I am all the time. Until that day, I feel like I come just a little closer to achieving that goal with each and every workout.

Blech

Attack of the Thursdays and Excuse #2

Ugh, Thursdays are the worst, you know? Pure evil. I usually try to avoid anything even potentially malicious on Thursdays, as I know beyond any doubt that fate will swing to the dark side on this most cursed of days. So naturally I hopped on the scale this morning.

TOM is still not here, so I'm feeling all weepy and emotional and grumpster...and I decide to weigh myself. To put all my remaining sanity in a Mr. Scale's grubby little hands. Brilliant.

I braced myself for the worst. Really and truly. Deep breaths, pep talks, the works. I mean, it's been a really rough couple of weeks at this point, and I GAINED at my last official weigh in. I fully expected to be back at my starting weight, especially factoring in the blOAt that is still hangin' around. Even knowing all of these facts and how the odds were stacked against me, I stripped and stepped onto the scale, standing tall the whole time. There's no slumping in weight loss!!

And...I'm actually okay with what I saw. ;) It doesn't really count because it's totally NOT weigh-in day or anything, but...I'm pleased. I appear to be back down to my lowest so far, a touch over 255. That fake gain is gone, and I'm daring to hope that more went with it, but it doesn't show because of stupid old TOM. *fingers crossed* We'll see eventually, I suppose. I'm soooooo freaking glad I didn't see a gain. Take THAT Thursday!!

The Art of Avoiding Workouts and Excuse #1

And art it is!

Yesterday morning, as I was psyching myself up to return to the C25K program after missing a full week with strep (gah!), I found all sorts of crazy excuses for not going running through my mind. Which is super stupid, because I had been really excited about working out again after such a long break. But oh, the reasons for staying inside and sedentary were so many! And quite a few were very silly, indeed.

In spite of these excuses, I managed to get out there and complete W2D1, woo hoo! However, the sheer number of the excuses I hurled at myself still amazes me. Why would I do that? It's self-sabotage in its purest form: mind to mind! *sigh*

In honor of my own excuse-riddled life, I'm compiling a list of the excuses I give myself the most. As of this morning, it numbers at eleven. I'm sure I'll add more as I go along. What about you? What are your biggest excuses for getting out of what you know you need to do?

Feeling better! Finally. :)

Oh, man...making it FIVE whole days without a decent workout was almost worse than having strep. Almost. Put both unfortunate circumstances together, and you have one miserable GG.

Update: I started this entry almost an hour and a half ago...but got sidetracked when I decided my blog needed more pictures, because I'm boring myself to tears. More pictures translated into cartoons, which led to browsing through dozens I didn't like, then finally downloading a paint program and spending over an hour doodling to make some of my own. Bestie and I now have our own avatars in my comic world. Greeeaaat. As IF I needed another time-sucking creative outlet. Between writing two books, freelance editing, and blogging (not to mention my JOB)...I DEFINITELY needed something else to fill my "free" time.  Blah.

Oh, well. I'm feeling very non-productive today. I'm very rested, which is sadly unusual and leaves me feeling rather hyper. I want to go on an adventure!! Not good for getting things accomplished. TOM is still being a no-show, which is stupid (no, I CANNOT be pregnant...trust me. I'm just an overweight hypothyroid whose skinny mother never had a regular cycle, either). *sigh* Maybe my run this morning will trigger something. I can only hope.

I feel like I'm stuck in a sad place, physically-speaking. I've been sick, my hormones are all icky, my body is retaining water in preparation for a visitor who REFUSES to arrive, I would like to eat my substantial weight in chocolate, and I'm terrified of looking at the scale. I'm pretty sure even a brief interlude with Mr. Scale would result in a complete breakdown of my heretofore impressively maintained sanity. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I may be starting back at the beginning weight-wise, folks. *LAME!!!*

BAH!! But it's not the most important thing, darn it!! I'm feeling so much better, I'm back to exercising, and my food is where it should be. I HAVEN'T attacked any chocolate (vegan or otherwise). My life is amazing. My hockey teams BOTH won on Saturday (although they play each other on Wednesday, which may or may not cause my head to explode). I don't hate my job. My bed is amazingly soft, and I have bubble bath that smells like caramel. This weight thing is gonna work out. Just gotta have a little faith. And maybe a cartoon or two. :D

Frustrated...on a Friday. Blah.

 Wow, what a week! Had a FANTASTIC visit with Bestie...she went home yesterday afternoon, and I miss her terribly already. I behaved myself very well on Monday and Tuesday: got my workouts in, ate well, slept plenty. Tuesday evening, however, things started to go downhill.

I took the day off work to spend some quality girl time with Bestie, which included a picnic lunch, hike, and afternoon nap. We party like rockstars, eh? ;D By the time I woke up in the late afternoon, I knew something was up with my body. TOM was waiting in the wings, leaving me vulnerable to getting sick. I took my supplements and made sure to drink extra water. By Wednesday morning, I had a raging fever and my throat felt like I had swallowed shards of glass...twice. Yup, I had strep throat.

And I HATE strep. I've had it probably a dozen times in my life, but not ONCE since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and started treatment back in 2002. Ugh. So I struggled through my work day and went straight to the Urgent Care clinic before going home. A booster shot and a few penicillin pills later, my fever is gone and my throat feels much better, but I'm still just so very tired.

I've not worked out since Tuesday and I've been eating pretty much whatever I felt like I could get past my swollen and inflamed tonsils. Crazy things...and at crazy times of day and night. Oh, and TOM is due today or tomorrow.

Needless to say, the last two days have been pretty brutal in terms of weight loss. I don't really WANT to know what the scale says right now. My current plan of strategy is to skip this weekend's weigh-in. It just wouldn't be fair to my psyche, you know?

Hope everyone's week is going well. Happy Weekend!!

P.S. The Canadiens lost their first game of the season last night. To the freaking LEAFS. *sigh*

Week #3: A Review

Meh. :/

The Good: BESTIE IS HERE!!! Yeah, that doesn't really count, eh? Okay...I ate well for most of the week, even resisting the wicked munch-monster on Saturday. I'm pretty proud of that. I got all SIX workouts in!! Whew!! I also completed Week One of C25K. Woot, woot. Increased my sleep hours, which also seemed to help, especially in my workouts.

The Bad: Yesterday (although it was technically the first day of Week Four, I'm confessing my sins here.) was NOT a good food day. *sigh* Bestie arrived, which meant unusual food situations. Lunch at Cracker Barrel was ok...I had the veggie plate (I worry about hidden butter in the cooking though, and wasn't brave enough to ask). Had a couple granola bars on our hike in the afternoon that I probably could have done without, hehe. Supper was miso soup and sushi, which was amazing. No complaints there! My main sin came after supper: chocolate hazelnut fudge Coconut Bliss ice cream. SO good...dairy, soy, and sugar free (they use AGAVE!! WOOHOO!!), but still high in calories and fat. *sigh* That would have been bad enough, but then I had some salt and vinegar potato chips and 3 vegetable spring rolls. Social eating? Vacation mentality? Munch-monster? All of the above, probably. :/ Meh. Oh, and when I weighed in yesterday morning BEFORE all the crazy food, the scale had gone up. WHICH I was expecting, remember? Yeah, still a bummer. Meh.

A new week, a new day, ready to make better choices. Last night was an anomaly...not to be repeated any time soon. I've already gone for my run, had a banana, and started in on my water. Slate, consider yourself wiped clean. :)

Blogging so I won't snack...#1

Note the number in the title...I'm sure this entry won't be the last written in an attempt to stave off munchiness.

Let me begin by making it perfectly clear that I AM NOT HUNGRY. I'm not. Really. I ate a good breakfast, a light lunch followed by a mid-shopping pretzel with mustard, and had sushi for supper less than an hour ago. I am not actually physiologically hungry. I'm just that antsy "don't feel like I've had enough so I should probably eat something" hungry, which shouldn't really count in the first place. It's just these blasted hormones!! AGH!!

So here I am sitting on the bed in my room, taking a break from all the craziness of getting ready for my bestie to arrive in the morning, trying not to eat the bedspread. *gnaws absently on own arm*

I've taken a supplement that usually helps tame this beast of an appetite I seem to develop on occasion and am drowning my innards in water. I'm also watching the Canadiens preseason game against the Islanders and working on my plans for while Bestie is in town. So far, so good. I've pulled out all the anti-nomnom tricks I know, and collectively they appear to be doing the trick. Whew. Oh, and I'm also trying NOT to think about weighing in tomorrow, FYI. Yes, I still believe all those things I wrote in my last blog about reasons for not seeing a loss, but...I'd still really like to see a smaller number. Please? *pout*

Okay, enough whining. Time to be excited. GO HABS GO!!!!!! BESTIE IS COMING TO TOWN!!! GONNA LOSE MORE WEIGHT!!! YAY!!!! :) The Power of positive thinking in action, folks!

Self-Talk and the Art of Bracing

Today is Thursday, and I'm already bracing myself for my weigh-in on Sunday. You see, I'm NOTORIOUS for retaining water when I change my workouts (like, I dunno, adding both running AND boxing in the same week?!). Logically, I understand what is happening in my body to cause the scale to stay the same or even go up following weeks like this one. You like how I'm preparing myself for the worst already? Mwahaha.

Now Mr. Scale and I are not really friends. We're closer to "frenemies," truth be told. He gives me valuable (although sometimes questionable) information, but retains the right to mock me whenever he sees fit. Yeah, there's a balanced relationship for ya. Anyway--I think he and I are fighting at the moment. He KNOWS when I'm retaining water from working out or from PMS (and Lordy, do I hold on to every drop for about a week, thanks), but does he tell me that? Oh, no! That would be too helpful!

</rant>

The way I see it, I'm doubly likely to see the scale go up rather than down this week, and not because I haven't maintained a hefty calorie deficit (because I totally have, even with a couple of higher calorie days). As long as I can keep going strong through next week to give my body time to adjust to my workouts and to recover from hormone mania, I should see a very nice downward plunge shortly thereafter. So I'm starting to mentally prepare myself now. And I'm also trying to focus on non-scale related feedback. For instance, my skin is looking tighter, my face is slimmer, and I can see some definition returning to the muscles in my legs. THOSE things do not lie to me like Mr. Scale does. He's mean.

It's almost Friday, ladies and gents!! *happy dance*

"We will pump *clap* you up!!"

Oh, I am so sore today. SOOOOOOOO sore!! You see, I raised my weights on Saturday and really worked my upper body. Feeeeeeeeeel the burn! Love it. Then, on Monday I started C25K again...and W1D1 kicked my proverbial butt. *ninja kick*

So my legs were sore right away. I have a rather wonky hip abductor on my left side, so I have to really stretch it AND ice it after I run to prevent inflammation. Fun stuff. To ice the, uh, cake, I decided to renew my heavy bag boxing workout yesterday. Yeah...I now hurt from my fingertips all the way to my toes. *sigh*

But it's so very worth it. Yes, I had to take a Bayer AM before my run this morning in order move enough to finish W1D2, but at least the run and subsequent stretching returned minimal flexibility to my body. I'm no Gumby this evening, but at least I'm not creaking like Dorothy's Tin Man. I really shouldn't complain; EVERY workout this week has been exhilarating. The weather here is beautiful--70s and clear blue skies--and being outside has done wonders for my soul. Plus, I really do love exercise, especially when I can push myself.

Endorphins are AWESOME!! *happy dance*

Remember how I mentioned earlier this week about how food was going to be a challenge? Oh, yeah. I was so right. Monday AND Tuesday I was a munching machine. Granted, there's only so much damage you can do without eating meat or dairy, but I still ate more than I normally do. I felt physically full after supper both days and I've come to really despise that feeling...makes me feel sluggish. Blech. Today was a vast improvement, however, so I'm looking to finish out the week without any more munchy madness. I can do it!! *fist pump*

Goals, Goals, and...Goalies? ;)

Well, folks...it's GOAL TIME!! And just in time for hockey season, too. Isn't that nice? I'm a big fan of celebrations and positive reinforcement and all that, so I've implemented a few reward systems to help me not only stay focused, but have some fun along the way, too. Bonus!

Method #1:

I like to try and repeat aspects of past mistakes that I actually completed successfully. For instance, a few years ago when I reached my lowest weight EVER (201.4...oh, to be there again!), I was rewarding myself with fresh flowers every Friday to celebrate a good week. I've decided to reinstate this tradition starting this Friday--assuming I have a good week, which I totally will. Yay!

Method #2:

I love hockey. I especially love Montreal Canadiens hockey. Sadly, my current weight is higher than the biggest player on the team, and he's 6'8!! *sad face* However, in a delightfully balanced turn of fate, my goal weight is lighter than the smallest player on the team, and he's 5'7!! So I made a chart of my favorite Habs by weight from heaviest to lightest and plan to check them off as I pass them! I'm so excited!

Method #3:

Utilizing a more traditional method for staying focused, I've broken down my ultimate goal of losing 100lbs into 10 mini goals, complete with prizes! I've not attached a timeframe to these individual goals, but I'd like to check one off every 4-6 weeks. I'm more than halfway to the first one!! Woot!!

Mini goal #1: 250lbs - New pair of fabulous earrings

Mini goal #2: 240lbs - Montreal Canadiens charm (for a long silver chain I have already)

Mini goal #3: 230lbs - Spa Day (at home)

Mini goal #4: 220lbs - New dress

Mini goal #5: 210lbs - New running shoes

Mini goal #6: 200lbs - ACE personal training materials

Mini goal #7: 190lbs - Writing Day (at home or coffee shop)

Mini goal #8: 180lbs - New workout clothes and running shoes

Mini goal #9: 170lbs - Professional massage

Mini goal #10: 160lbs - GOAL!!!!! Oh, I have SO MANY things planned for when I get to my goal weight (clothes, anyone?!), but the most tangible  one is I'd like to get second holes pierced in both of my ears to remind me of how far I've come.

Whew! Sounds like a plan, right? I figure this way I'll be succeeding on one level or another all the time, which is very good for my poor little heart.

Week #2: A Review

The Good: Ummmm...well, I ate well every day. And I lost 2.2lbs!!

The Bad: Only logged FOUR workouts this week. I got some kind of food poisoning or sulfite reaction or something from a salad I ordered Thursday night. I was knocked for a terrible loop that lasted through the weekend: stomach cramps, nausea, upset stomach...ick. That salad was so totally NOT worth it, too. Meh. I still didn't get enough sleep, and my whole routine was pretty out of balance this week.

I'm pleased with my weight loss, to be sure, but I need to be finding more balance in my life overall. This upcoming week will be more difficult in terms of HOW MUCH I eat, due to hormones making me feel hungrier. I aim to strike a balance between listening to my body and still maintaining a good caloric deficit. My goal is to drop another 2lbs this week. *fingers crossed*

Sorry this post is so short!

Mid-week Musings...

Introspective to a fault, I continue to try to better understand why every little thing about the weight loss process feels different this time around. I mean, I realize I'm in a different place, but I've been dieting and exercising to change my body for 15 years!! I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Every day I wake up and I'm ready to move. I missed one workout last week, but it wasn't because my motivation failed or I gave in to sleeping in instead. I missed it because my mom needed me to go with her to an unexpected meeting. I couldn't make it up in the evening because I already had plans in place. The biggest difference, however, was that I didn't get upset about it. I was not angry at what I couldn't control and I didn't kill myself in my Saturday workout to somehow "make up" for it. I stuck with my routine and continued on. I'm so proud of myself for that! Anyone who has ever struggled with exercise addiction understands how it becomes a compulsion...both your greatest desire and your most despised enemy. Right now I'm enjoying how my body feels when I move it, no strings attached! :D

I think when it comes down to it, the most significant change has to do with my body image and self-esteem. In the past, I was driven by a NEED to look different. I was miserable with how I looked and how I believed the world perceived me as a result. I couldn't stand being heavy and felt a sense of desperation about every part of losing weight. Therefore eating well and exercising became very closely tied to how I was doing emotionally, which contributed to the whole binge and purge cycle I got stuck in for a while. I really hated myself for a long time. I knew I was gifted at some things, but all my assets were, in my eyes, trumped by my weight. I couldn't see anything else. Even while I was outspoken about never judging someone based on their looks alone, I not only judged myself that way but also expected everyone else to do so, as well. I may not have been entirely wrong about being judged for my appearance (of COURSE it factors in), but I was definitely off in my assumptions that all their hypothetical judgments would be entirely negative!!

I find it very difficult to even type the words because the newness of my fresh perspective feels raw, but I want to record my thoughts. As I've grown more comfortable with my body and come to see beauty in myself (I have to credit my friend KH and veganism with this shift, but I'll write more on that in a later entry), I've begun to notice some things. Not only do I view myself differently now, it turns out I was wrong about others see me, too. While blinded by my own view of myself, I failed to see that many of the people I interact with completely disagree with my former very harsh opinion of my physical appearance! It's true...shocking, right? While everyone has different tastes and the level of appreciation (hehe) I receive differs from person to person...people treat me like I'm pretty. It may seem shallow--and perhaps it really is--but realizing that there are men in my life every day that think I'm attractive has been EARTH-SHATTERING for me. I'm still kinda reeling, actually. I know in the big picture this realization is a small thing, but it's been huge to me...and I think it plays a big part in why I feel so differently about weight loss this time around.  Go figure. More later.

Week #1: A Review

Okay, folks...we've arrived at the end of week one!! Let's take a look back and see how I did, shall we?

The Good: I logged FIVE workouts this week, three of which were serious dance training sessions that left me red-faced and sweaty, but grinning ear-to-ear. Yay! I ate well and lightly for most of the week, and my water consumption was right where I wanted it to be. Also, I lost 3lbs!!! Hurray!!

The Bad: I had scheduled SIX workouts, but missed Friday's. No missed workouts next week!! My eating was a touch heavy on Friday and Saturday...I only ate good foods, but at the end of the day felt like I had eaten more than on previous days. So improved food awareness for next week, as well. Finally, I was short on sleep most days this week, so my other goal for next week is to get to bed on time. Sleep is very important!!

All in all, I'm pleased with how this week went; I wasn't riding some huge motivational or emotional wave...I really just followed my plan and enjoyed my time. Not bad at all. And 3lbs is TREMENDOUS!! *happy dance*

So here's to another great week coming up!

Side note: NHL preseason games start TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!! :D I'm only a teensy bit excited. Really. ;)

In case you haven't heard, Thursdays are the most evil days of every week. They drain your energy and make it impossible for you to think clearly  or use good judgment. If, that is, you aren't prepared for them.

The days of the week are as follows:

Monday: Everybody dogs on Mondays, but that's usually their own faults for having stayed up too late on Sunday nights. In reality, Mondays are often not too bad, because you've filled up your fun tank over the weekend and the memories should sustain you for the first day of the work week. You might even remember why you liked your job in the first place on Monday.

Tuesday: Arguably Thursday's nasty little brother, Tuesdays can have serious attitude. The fun high you rode the day before has crashed, and the work week still looks dreadfully long. I recommend having a special playlist of fantastic music especially designed to distract you from the fact that it is Tuesday.

Wednesday: It's Hump Day! The first half of the week is over, and it's all downhill from here. Making it to the weekend now looks like a manageable feat. Also, cue awkward double entendre jokes with not-so-subtle coworkers. Wednesdays can be fun!

Thursday: Ugh. Yuck. Nasty. Thursdays are the WORST. Think about it. By the time Thursday rolls around, you are ready for the weekend. Work demands can be especially heavy on Thursdays (my friends in the medical field say this is especially true in hospitals and crisis clinics) as mental fatigue worsens judgment, causing careless mistakes that must be corrected AND/OR people who haven't done their work all week try to cram it into one day by dumping some on you. Develop a "Thursday bubble" and stay inside it!! Thursdays are also terrible because they taunt you with their almost-Friday-ness. You are tired enough for it to be Friday, but it's not. Oh, no. It's THURSDAY.

Friday: Fridays are AWESOME!! Try not to get too excited, but the moment the work day ends the weekend begins!! Woohoo!! *happy dance*

So how do we survive the dreaded Thursday? I have a few tricks that have worked for me over the years. As with Tuesdays, if you are allowed to listen to music at work (I'm not, but I keep my iPod with me for my breaks), I highly recommend making a playlist of survival music that keeps your determination high and prevents you from bottoming out. Friday will follow if we can just keep breathing through Thursday. I also move my early morning workouts to after work on Thursdays and reserve my all-time favorites for this day. That way, I get a little extra sleep AND have something fun and distracting to look forward to on Thursdays. Packing an extra tasty lunch and using your lunch break to read a great book helps, too (doing this every day might avoid the Thursday dip altogether, but start with baby steps).

Good luck with surviving your own almost-Friday-ness! We can make it!!

"Water, water, everywhere..."

I really love water. I do. I carry a pink 32oz Nalgene bottle with me everywhere I go. My brothers always tell people I have a drinking problem! :) Other than unsweetened tea and the occasional (VERY occasional) coffee or juice, water is really all I drink. If I were a poet, I think I would write verses about water. In fact, writing this little paragraph about water has made me thirsty. Ah, so good. Fortunately, water is vital, necessary, and downright beneficial to my body...and no, I'm not drowning myself: I'm more of a constant sipper than a binging gulper. True story.

So lately I've been experimenting with my water. Plain old ice water is my favorite, but every now and then I like to spruce it up. Today, for instance, I added a couple of key lime slices to my bottle before heading to work. Very nice. A couple of days ago I added a drop or two of peppermint extract. The minty flavor was especially helpful when the late afternoon munchies kicked in. Nothing snacky goes particularly well with peppermint, you know? Except for chocolate, of course, but fortunately I didn't have any around!

I've also tried fresh strawberry slices, cucumber (I blame The Other Guys for that experiment), and oranges. Plain is still the best, though. :)

In other news, today was a good day! I really, really, REALLY didn't want to work out, but I did it!! Woo hoo!! I couldn't walk outside today, so I danced for an hour instead. Yup, a whole hour. Oh, how I love to dance!! I've decided I need to learn all the choreography from my favorite musicals, starting with the ones I actually own, like Hairspray. I wish Mamma Mia! had more real dance sequences, but I'm sure I could come up with a few of my own! Hmmm...

Side note: Hockey preseason games begin a week from today!! HOORAH!!! Oh, man...I'm so excited. MAJOR hockey fan over here! Prepare to be bombarded with hockey rants on a regular basis. :D

Well, I think that does it. Exercise was good. Food was good (I made homemade oat mini loaves to go with our vegetable barley soup for supper. Delicious!). Need more sleep.

Monday, Monday, Monday...

The weather was so beautiful today! After an absolutely blistering summer (with the heat index over 105 degrees every day for weeks on end), 90 degrees feels almost cool. :) I took my workout time outside this morning, hitting the pavement early enough to enjoy a pleasant 75 degrees. Ahhhhhh! Although I'm very eager to get back into running, I stuck to walking for today. I figure two weeks of walking to get my body used to the impact again and I'll be ready to start the c25k program once more. I really miss that runner's high, you know? Soon, soon.

Getting enough exercise will be my primary focus in terms of losing weight, especially initially. Since I'm vegan, I don't plan on counting calories right away. I've gotten myself into quite a mess that way before, and I definitely don't want to be counting every morsel that goes into my mouth for the rest of my life. For now, I'll be focusing mainly on choosing foods that are high in nutritional value, paying careful attention to portion sizes, and eating only what my body really needs. I enjoy cooking and love eating good food, and this method should allow me to lose weight without denying that side of my personality. 

For example, I am almost giddy over the absolutely delicious supper I cooked tonight. Oh. My. Goodness. I had sauteed asparagus, whole wheat couscous, kidney beans, and kale. AAAAAAAAAAAAmazing, let me tell you! I cooked the asparagus in a little olive oil with fresh cilantro, key lime juice, and just a dash of salt. Mmmmm mmmm mmm! The couscous got the cilantro treatment as well, which went nicely with the cajun red beans. And the kale?! I think I've found a new favorite dish. As you may or may not know, getting enough iron can be a tricky thing when you don't consume any animal products, and kale is an awesome source of the mineral. However, dark green leafy vegetables can be a challenge (at least for me) to fit into everyday cuisine outside of the salad bowl or beans 'n' greens. Enter Kale Chips. Yum! If you toss four cups of torn kale in about a teaspoon of olive oil, sprinkle it with garlic powder, salt, and freshly ground pepper, then transfer it to a baking sheet in a 400 degree oven for 10-15 minutes IT GETS CRISPY!! No joke. Light and crunchy goodness. You should try it.

Okay, folks, I'm beat. One more load of laundry, and I'm hitting the sack. I gots to get my beauty sleep, you know. ;)

The Beginning...Again. :)

I feel as though I've lived this day a thousand times (or more!) since I was about 11 years old or so. You know the day I'm talking about...the ever-mystical Beginning. The Beginning of the rest of my life no longer overweight or tired or procrastinating or lonely or hungry or angry or unfulfilled or fill in the blank. Whatever. I've been here before, and chances are you have, too. Some of my Beginnings have been more successful than others, for sure!

So what makes today any different than the thousands that have gone before? I do.:) I'm ready now. You see, I'm coming off a long break from dieting and regular exercise. It might sound counter-intuitive, but I needed the distance from my previous weight loss patterns in order to gain some perspective. During the almost two years since I graduated from college in December 2008, I've been focusing on the inside stuff. Ever since I first started trying to change the way I look, I've gotten myself into all kinds of messes. Eventually, I suffered through a wide variety of unhealthy disorders/addictions/relationships with food, working out, and my body, and I needed to address those issues on the inside before I was really ready to make changes that would impact my outside.

So today I begin again, but this time it's different. This time I'm not a girl desperate to be someone else or someone who's looking for a new outer image to solve all of life's problems. Today I am a 25 year old writer who is rapidly approaching the completion of her first novel,I am a single woman who is finally open to meeting someone new, and I am a fledgeling vegan who no longer hates herself for loving good food.  And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a Beginning I can really sink my teeth into!