Times Are Changin'

October:


- had strep throat twice
- rough menstrual cycle (late)
- accidentally decreased thyroid hormone dose (ooops!)
- completed weeks 1-4 of the c25k program
- worked the heavy bag 2-3x a week
- ate between 1300 and 1700 calories per day (with the exception of few untracked days when I was sick...not sure about my intake during those times.)
- protein intake extremely low every day (non-soy vegan with reduced cals is TOUGH on protein)
-  no weight training
- ZERO pounds lost



November:


I'm ready to put the month of October behind me. What a frustrating few weeks I've had! It's time to move past the difficulties and focus on the positives. I definitely did a lot of great things for my body this month and I refuse to take that away from myself just because the scale isn't moving. My health and wellness are about so much more than any single number. That said, I really REALLY hope some of these changes I'm implementing for the month of November result in a loss. A girl can dream, right? :)

- increase protein to levels recommended for very active lifestyles
- eat small meals every 3 hours (roughly 1500 cals)
- maintain proper hormone doses EVERY DAY
- increase water again
- add weight training 2-3 days a week
- finish weeks 5-8 of c25k (woo hoo!!!)
- HIDE THE SCALE!! And no peeking, either. :D

Week #7: a Review

The Good: I didn't get sick this week!!! I'm still catching up on some things around the house and work that fell by the way side while I was down and out, but I'm definitely feeling more like myself. I also finished Week 4 of the c25k program this week!! BOOYAH!! In six days I will be attempting a 20 minute run. Lord have mercy! I completed 5 out of 6 possible workouts this week and I'm pleased with that. Things were crazy.


The Bad: Hungry. Like, every day...makes me cranky. Also, I gained weight. REALLY?! Now, listen...I realize that I'm hypothyroid, okay? And I realize that even with treatment, my body likes to release fat about as much as my 16 year-old cat likes a cold bath, but seriously...I'm working my butt off and it's still clinging on!! UGH.


I'm decidedly frustrated, but far from despairing...I've been in this place before. I know my body and I simply haven't found the balance that I need to be able to lose weight yet. That said, I need to get my hormone levels checked soon, just to be sure I'm not shooting myself in the foot on that score.

Note the ZERO LOSS for the month of October. Yeah, that sucks. But November, my dear friends, will be better.

Wacky Wednesday!

Come by the Hills...

Okay, so maybe I've mentioned this fact once before...I can't remember and don't feel like reading back through 20-odd posts to find out so bear with me, but the road behind my house where I go running has HILLS. It's a paved road, which is find, but like most back country roads around here it is full of twists and turns and those darn hills.

Said hills didn't bother me too much in the first few weeks of c25k, but OH MAN do I feel them now!! Especially when my jogging intervals seem to always fall on the uphill portions of my route (which isn't too difficult, because the road always seems to be going up or down), I feel like I'm going to DIE. It's insane. I've decided I would be ten times faster if the road were flat, but I know that's also a total lie because I'm super slow on the downhill parts too, hehe.

So I was kinda nervous about starting week 4 today, but it had more to do with DREADING w5d3, which contains a twenty minute run. TWENTY MINUTES. With no walking breaks!! And I'm terrified. W4 was my quitting point last time around, so there's the added pressure of w5 being unchartered territory. Now to be perfectly fair, I used to jog/run around a lake by my campus in college and did just fine. It was almost 5k and took me FOREVER, but I did it regularly. Granted, I was probably 40lbs lighter at the time...yeah, that doesn't help me feel better.

Anyway, back to dreading today: it really wasn't so bad! Yes, the hills were brutal during the 5min jogging intervals. Yes, I wanted to give up several times. And yes, it took a lot of mental focus to finish strong. BUT I DID IT. So I'm proud of myself.

One thing I do remember about my college days and running around that blasted lake was getting into the "zone" after the first few minutes. Initially, I hated life out there, but I remember always feeling like I found my groove by the time I passed this one tree stump. If I made it to that stump, I was golden for the rest of my run. My intervals are still pretty short, but I've gotten glimpses of that zone and I need to hold on to that feeling.

I need to remember that once I'm running longer distances, it really does get easier mentally...instead of reminding myself to keep going, I'll have to remind myself when to stop. And getting back to that place...that running zone...is as important a goal as any.

NOMNOMs: Know Thine Enemy

Beware!! The NOMNOMs know where you live and their army numbers in the trillions. They will come to you in dreams and sing their siren call from your pantry or fridge. They strike when you are vulnerable, tired, or sad. THEY WILL NOT STOP!! Be prepared, remain vigilant, and tune in next week to learn our first form of defense. Hint: it doubles as an offense.

WATCH OUT!!

Week #6: A Review

The Good: Hmmm....well, I ate well this week. I kept track of things more closely than I usually do, just to be sure that I'm not eating more than I should. Quite the contrary, actually: I'm struggling to keep my calories high enough, especially on the days where I work out intensely. I slept well most nights. I finished c25k W3!! I almost died, but I made it!  Oh, and the scale moved DOWN 1.6lbs, woo hoo!


The Bad: I got sick. Again. Strep sucks majorly. *sigh* I missed my workouts on both Thursday and Friday due to fever and the fact that my tonsils were touching. Yuck. My eating on Friday was kinda crazy.  I didn't drink enough water this week...gotta up my ounces.

Overall, my biggest struggle right now is mental. I don't feel very sharp or "on top of my game" today, or really this weekend in general. I hope that getting back into my routines tomorrow (AND going a whole week without some kind of physical disaster, hehe) will help me get my groove back. :)

The Mental Struggle

If I'm perfectly honest, these last three weeks have been extremely difficult, physically and emotionally. The first week, Bestie was here, and I caught strep throat. By the time I was starting to feel better on the antibiotic, TOM arrived. Then, just as TOM was waving a final goodbye, I relapsed with strep earlier this week. I'm back on antibiotics and feeling better, but my body is worn out.

The great challenge has been trying to stay strong and balanced mentally through it all, and even though my spirit is a bit dampened, I'm determined to remain focused. It would be very easy to concentrate instead on how I feel like I've been treading molasses (way more difficult than water!) for the last month or how much further along I had hoped to be by this point. It is so tempting to give in to the idea that it will always be this difficult and that I will never lose weight efficiently or consistently. Discouragement is knocking on my doors, windows, and even a wall or two.

The frustrations of the last few weeks are many, but this month has not been a typical one, and I MUST remind myself of that at every turn. I hadn't had strep in ten years! The odds of this kind of back-to-back-to-back physical struggle are crazy, and it likely won't happen again in this journey! If it should happen again, however, at least now I know that I can handle it, right? Right.

Fact is, I have a lot to be proud of from these last few weeks. The biggest thing? I never "fell off the wagon." Oh, my eating was different depending on what I could get past my swollen throat, and I missed a few workouts due to fever, but I kept things balanced for the most part, and I jumped right back into exercise as soon as my symptoms were under control. I am so proud of myself for that!! Go me!!

I don't really know what the scale will say when I weigh in tomorrow. I'm hopeful for a modest loss, but I also know what this week has been like. At the same time, I can see changes in my body, especially my legs. I tend to have pretty lean legs anyway (being so tall and all), but running really does AMAZING things for my thighs and calves! :D I may never have super sexy sculpted arms--although I WILL do everything I know to get them--but great legs are definitely achievable for me.

Mwahahaha! Okay, I'm off to finish W3 of c25k. :D

Wacky Wednesday!

I dare you not to laugh! Also, strep is back due to re-exposure at work. Joy! I'm back on antibiotics and don't plan to miss any workouts if I can help it.

Cool Runnings

Or burning hot desert runnings, whatever. Southern Mississippi seems to have missed the "late October counts as Fall" memo: it's upper 80s again today. Bah!

Remember when I mentioned being eager to start back with C25K? Yeah, I'm certifiable, pretty sure. *sigh* I chose to repeat W2 last week because of missing time due to strep throat. No problem.

I finished W3D1 this morning, but almost died in the process. I somehow missed one of my cues (I use DJ Steveboy's Podrunner: Intervals  podcasts. They ROCK.) and accidentally ran through the entire cool down. Whew, boy. I was so determined not to wimp out on any of my intervals today, but couldn't figure out why I was struggling so much with the final jogging segment. I knew they were supposed to be alternating 3min and 90sec intervals today. Um, yeah. That was your 4min10sec cool down, smart girl.

Upside: Thursday's run should feel SO EASY after today! Haha.

Similar to how I feel after a good heavy bag workout, my post-run (and even mid-run) perspective is amazing. As I was cresting my second hill today, I found myself pondering why running is so important to me. It goes much deeper than just wanting to look like someone who runs: I want to be someone who runs.
Does that distinction make sense?
Every time I go running (or very, VERY slow jogging, ha), I feel like I'm literally running away from who I used to be and toward the person I want to become. Each time I dig deep and finish a tough interval, exercising mind-over-body control, I feel stronger. Pushing my body physically has a powerful impact on my mind and emotions...and I LIKE it. :)

I may still look far from disciplined, powerful, and strong on the outside, but as I grow more and more like that on the inside, my body cannot help but follow. Right? RIGHT!? *wink*

Happy Tuesday, all. :)

NOMNOM Mondays

I'd like to introduce to you a little foe of mine. His name is NOMNOM and he has literally millions of nasty friends who love to attack me at completely random times and make me think I need to eat something. Bestie and I have established a plan of defense against the NOMNOM army, but the first step is recognition.

More to come...

Week #5: A Review

I just realized that I failed to write a review for Week #4. Oh, well. 'Twas a terrible one. :D This week was an improvement, thankfully.

The Good: As soon as I felt like my body was strong enough to withstand it, I jumped right back into running and boxing. I didn't delay for a few days out of laziness like I might have before. In fact, I put in my best week of workouts so far, clocking in SIX hour-long sessions this week. YAY!! *high five, self!*

I went to bed early every night this week, and definitely felt the difference during the day. I have waaaaay more energy for my workouts when I get enough sleep. Go figure, huh? Major duh.

I earned my weekly flowers this week (woot!), and decided to splurge on a dozen blush roses. They are absolutely breath-taking, and I smile every time I walk by them.

I also took really good care of myself physically this week. I took time to read and work on my novel and non-fiction manuscripts, I indulged in several bubble baths in the evenings after work, and I didn't miss a single hockey game! I find that I feel much more balanced and healthy when I make it a point to nurture my soul instead of just pushing through my days on sheer willpower. It's all about finding balance. :)


The Bad: Okay, so the food piece wasn't particularly disciplined again this week. I ate good things, just more frequently and in larger amounts than my body really requires. When I don't hit the sweet spot with my caloric intake, I find my energy levels start to lag and I feel sluggish. I definitely want to be more aware of how and when I eat during this upcoming week; with strep and TOM safely out of the way, I should have a much easier go of it, to be sure.


All in all, I pleased about my work this week and am definitely looking forward to another strong week. I'm itching for a solid loss on the scale, too. I feel like my hormones and water levels have been so out-of-whack for almost three weeks now...I'm ready for things to return to normal, thanks. :)

Ode to the Heavy Bag

My heart is full of loving passion now, 
Your leather sides and swinging chain sing sweet. 
As sweat runs down my face, I hit you, "POW!" 
My glove-clad hands take turns with kicking feet,
And the rhythm of blows is heard a mile.
I grunt, I yell, I punch and spin and turn.
With each and ever round, stronger feelings grow--
I finally begin to see and smile:
My strength, respect, and honor, inner burn...
I can no longer at all deny. I glow.




As I stood on the back porch yesterday, fresh from my post-workout stretching session, I gazed across the expanse of yard as a warm breeze caressed my face and felt truly FIERCE. I had spent the last 45 minutes doing my best impression of Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby: dodging, turning, throwing punch combos, I methodically destroyed my black leather opponent.

I started working out with a heavy bag back in the spring and was seriously hooked from the very first day. Now, every time I begin to wrap my hands in the long strips of cream-colored cotton before putting on my gloves, I turn into a different person. I become a stronger, braver, steadier version of myself. With my handy-dandy water bottle, HRM, and iPod, I stride confidently out to the "barn," our glorified shed with an attached open-air dog pen with a slanting tin roof and open wood beams, one of which sports my 100lb heavy bag.

Stepping into the deep shade, I kick up small clouds of brown dirt. Here and there bamboo shoots are fighting their way up through the earthen floor, reaching for the warmth of the sun. I slide my gloves on over the hand wraps and fasten the velcro straps firmly around my wrists. After checking myself out in the reflection of the glass windows in the side of the shed, I walk slowly around the bag, tapping it lightly. I look ready. I feel ready. Let's rumble.

I've read a few books on technique, so I usually start my workout with various drills aimed at improving my coordination, foot movement, and hand speed. After that, I move into timed repetitions of individual punches, kicks, and combinations. Finally, the last 10 minutes of my workout are comprised of an all-out assault on the bag, full on free-style. Those final few minutes are the highlight of my day and are largely responsible for the mental high I ride for hours after my workout and subsequent cool down are over.

My workout yesterday was a mental and physical victory. My body did not want to move at ALL, much less perform an hour-long boxing session! I knew it would help with my physical discomfort, however, and pushed through. I'm really glad I did for a variety of reasons.

First, the exercise really did help my body feel better, and the cramps diminished noticeably.

Second, I burned some serious calories, which gave me some much-needed wiggle-room in my eating for the day.

Third, and most importantly, I took one step closer to becoming the woman I want to be. Standing on the porch after my workout, I felt a stillness in my mind and spirit that I want to learn to hold onto.

One day, I hope the person I am when I strap on those gloves--strong, confident, and brave--will be the person I am all the time. Until that day, I feel like I come just a little closer to achieving that goal with each and every workout.

Blech

Attack of the Thursdays and Excuse #2

Ugh, Thursdays are the worst, you know? Pure evil. I usually try to avoid anything even potentially malicious on Thursdays, as I know beyond any doubt that fate will swing to the dark side on this most cursed of days. So naturally I hopped on the scale this morning.

TOM is still not here, so I'm feeling all weepy and emotional and grumpster...and I decide to weigh myself. To put all my remaining sanity in a Mr. Scale's grubby little hands. Brilliant.

I braced myself for the worst. Really and truly. Deep breaths, pep talks, the works. I mean, it's been a really rough couple of weeks at this point, and I GAINED at my last official weigh in. I fully expected to be back at my starting weight, especially factoring in the blOAt that is still hangin' around. Even knowing all of these facts and how the odds were stacked against me, I stripped and stepped onto the scale, standing tall the whole time. There's no slumping in weight loss!!

And...I'm actually okay with what I saw. ;) It doesn't really count because it's totally NOT weigh-in day or anything, but...I'm pleased. I appear to be back down to my lowest so far, a touch over 255. That fake gain is gone, and I'm daring to hope that more went with it, but it doesn't show because of stupid old TOM. *fingers crossed* We'll see eventually, I suppose. I'm soooooo freaking glad I didn't see a gain. Take THAT Thursday!!

The Art of Avoiding Workouts and Excuse #1

And art it is!

Yesterday morning, as I was psyching myself up to return to the C25K program after missing a full week with strep (gah!), I found all sorts of crazy excuses for not going running through my mind. Which is super stupid, because I had been really excited about working out again after such a long break. But oh, the reasons for staying inside and sedentary were so many! And quite a few were very silly, indeed.

In spite of these excuses, I managed to get out there and complete W2D1, woo hoo! However, the sheer number of the excuses I hurled at myself still amazes me. Why would I do that? It's self-sabotage in its purest form: mind to mind! *sigh*

In honor of my own excuse-riddled life, I'm compiling a list of the excuses I give myself the most. As of this morning, it numbers at eleven. I'm sure I'll add more as I go along. What about you? What are your biggest excuses for getting out of what you know you need to do?

Feeling better! Finally. :)

Oh, man...making it FIVE whole days without a decent workout was almost worse than having strep. Almost. Put both unfortunate circumstances together, and you have one miserable GG.

Update: I started this entry almost an hour and a half ago...but got sidetracked when I decided my blog needed more pictures, because I'm boring myself to tears. More pictures translated into cartoons, which led to browsing through dozens I didn't like, then finally downloading a paint program and spending over an hour doodling to make some of my own. Bestie and I now have our own avatars in my comic world. Greeeaaat. As IF I needed another time-sucking creative outlet. Between writing two books, freelance editing, and blogging (not to mention my JOB)...I DEFINITELY needed something else to fill my "free" time.  Blah.

Oh, well. I'm feeling very non-productive today. I'm very rested, which is sadly unusual and leaves me feeling rather hyper. I want to go on an adventure!! Not good for getting things accomplished. TOM is still being a no-show, which is stupid (no, I CANNOT be pregnant...trust me. I'm just an overweight hypothyroid whose skinny mother never had a regular cycle, either). *sigh* Maybe my run this morning will trigger something. I can only hope.

I feel like I'm stuck in a sad place, physically-speaking. I've been sick, my hormones are all icky, my body is retaining water in preparation for a visitor who REFUSES to arrive, I would like to eat my substantial weight in chocolate, and I'm terrified of looking at the scale. I'm pretty sure even a brief interlude with Mr. Scale would result in a complete breakdown of my heretofore impressively maintained sanity. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I may be starting back at the beginning weight-wise, folks. *LAME!!!*

BAH!! But it's not the most important thing, darn it!! I'm feeling so much better, I'm back to exercising, and my food is where it should be. I HAVEN'T attacked any chocolate (vegan or otherwise). My life is amazing. My hockey teams BOTH won on Saturday (although they play each other on Wednesday, which may or may not cause my head to explode). I don't hate my job. My bed is amazingly soft, and I have bubble bath that smells like caramel. This weight thing is gonna work out. Just gotta have a little faith. And maybe a cartoon or two. :D

Frustrated...on a Friday. Blah.

 Wow, what a week! Had a FANTASTIC visit with Bestie...she went home yesterday afternoon, and I miss her terribly already. I behaved myself very well on Monday and Tuesday: got my workouts in, ate well, slept plenty. Tuesday evening, however, things started to go downhill.

I took the day off work to spend some quality girl time with Bestie, which included a picnic lunch, hike, and afternoon nap. We party like rockstars, eh? ;D By the time I woke up in the late afternoon, I knew something was up with my body. TOM was waiting in the wings, leaving me vulnerable to getting sick. I took my supplements and made sure to drink extra water. By Wednesday morning, I had a raging fever and my throat felt like I had swallowed shards of glass...twice. Yup, I had strep throat.

And I HATE strep. I've had it probably a dozen times in my life, but not ONCE since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and started treatment back in 2002. Ugh. So I struggled through my work day and went straight to the Urgent Care clinic before going home. A booster shot and a few penicillin pills later, my fever is gone and my throat feels much better, but I'm still just so very tired.

I've not worked out since Tuesday and I've been eating pretty much whatever I felt like I could get past my swollen and inflamed tonsils. Crazy things...and at crazy times of day and night. Oh, and TOM is due today or tomorrow.

Needless to say, the last two days have been pretty brutal in terms of weight loss. I don't really WANT to know what the scale says right now. My current plan of strategy is to skip this weekend's weigh-in. It just wouldn't be fair to my psyche, you know?

Hope everyone's week is going well. Happy Weekend!!

P.S. The Canadiens lost their first game of the season last night. To the freaking LEAFS. *sigh*

Week #3: A Review

Meh. :/

The Good: BESTIE IS HERE!!! Yeah, that doesn't really count, eh? Okay...I ate well for most of the week, even resisting the wicked munch-monster on Saturday. I'm pretty proud of that. I got all SIX workouts in!! Whew!! I also completed Week One of C25K. Woot, woot. Increased my sleep hours, which also seemed to help, especially in my workouts.

The Bad: Yesterday (although it was technically the first day of Week Four, I'm confessing my sins here.) was NOT a good food day. *sigh* Bestie arrived, which meant unusual food situations. Lunch at Cracker Barrel was ok...I had the veggie plate (I worry about hidden butter in the cooking though, and wasn't brave enough to ask). Had a couple granola bars on our hike in the afternoon that I probably could have done without, hehe. Supper was miso soup and sushi, which was amazing. No complaints there! My main sin came after supper: chocolate hazelnut fudge Coconut Bliss ice cream. SO good...dairy, soy, and sugar free (they use AGAVE!! WOOHOO!!), but still high in calories and fat. *sigh* That would have been bad enough, but then I had some salt and vinegar potato chips and 3 vegetable spring rolls. Social eating? Vacation mentality? Munch-monster? All of the above, probably. :/ Meh. Oh, and when I weighed in yesterday morning BEFORE all the crazy food, the scale had gone up. WHICH I was expecting, remember? Yeah, still a bummer. Meh.

A new week, a new day, ready to make better choices. Last night was an anomaly...not to be repeated any time soon. I've already gone for my run, had a banana, and started in on my water. Slate, consider yourself wiped clean. :)

Blogging so I won't snack...#1

Note the number in the title...I'm sure this entry won't be the last written in an attempt to stave off munchiness.

Let me begin by making it perfectly clear that I AM NOT HUNGRY. I'm not. Really. I ate a good breakfast, a light lunch followed by a mid-shopping pretzel with mustard, and had sushi for supper less than an hour ago. I am not actually physiologically hungry. I'm just that antsy "don't feel like I've had enough so I should probably eat something" hungry, which shouldn't really count in the first place. It's just these blasted hormones!! AGH!!

So here I am sitting on the bed in my room, taking a break from all the craziness of getting ready for my bestie to arrive in the morning, trying not to eat the bedspread. *gnaws absently on own arm*

I've taken a supplement that usually helps tame this beast of an appetite I seem to develop on occasion and am drowning my innards in water. I'm also watching the Canadiens preseason game against the Islanders and working on my plans for while Bestie is in town. So far, so good. I've pulled out all the anti-nomnom tricks I know, and collectively they appear to be doing the trick. Whew. Oh, and I'm also trying NOT to think about weighing in tomorrow, FYI. Yes, I still believe all those things I wrote in my last blog about reasons for not seeing a loss, but...I'd still really like to see a smaller number. Please? *pout*

Okay, enough whining. Time to be excited. GO HABS GO!!!!!! BESTIE IS COMING TO TOWN!!! GONNA LOSE MORE WEIGHT!!! YAY!!!! :) The Power of positive thinking in action, folks!